FarmeramaAID: Six Reasons Your Farm May Not Be As Good As You Had Hoped/Wanted It To Be

Mee with Watering CanIf, like so many farmers, you feel frustrated that your farm isn’t all that you wanted it to be, never fear.

Weeds

Weeds, again !!

We have been analysing much of the feedback we have received over the past few months and have compiled a list of the six tips which we feel could be of most benefit to Farmerama farmers everywhere.

Make yourself a fresh, hot mug of your standard drink, rip open a packet of biscuits, put your feet up and learn how your farm can become the envy of all around you….

1. You’re not spending as much time on your farm as you should.

Come on people, it’s time to wake up. Farming is a full time job, just ask any farmer out in the fields. It’s time to think about priorities here:

  • Do you have a job that means you can’t harvest crops as soon as they’re ready? Well give it up, it’s getting in the way. Real farmers don’t have another job to go to.
  • Do you spend too much time visiting friends and family? Heck, they know where YOU LIVE, it’s about time they came over; and they can admire your farm and see you enjoying yourself properly at the same time instead of having a miserable face and always checking your watch over at their place. Good friends would get the shopping done on the way over, and would bring pizza and beer too!
  • How long do you spend in the bathroom every morning? Too long, that’s for sure. If you’re not going anywhere there’s no need to waste time looking/smelling good, is there? And the later you start harvesting your overnight crops the less time there will be during the day for producing more.

2. You’re not spending enough on Premium Farm Status and BB’s.

Haven’t you realised yet that these things are included in the game to help you? If you’re missing out on all those little benefits that Premium Farm Status gives you then you can’t expect your farm to progress as fast as it should. If you’re not buying BB’s then how can you ever expect to get a full collection of Pets? Wait until you can win them at Renzo’s? Nah! Get in there and buy a full quota as soon as they’re available like any really good farmer would.

If you’ve quit work (as in item 1) then you should be working the welfare system properly in order to be able to pay for these things. Remember these important points:

  • You had to give up work because of the added stress it was putting on you.
  • Removing that stress is good for your mental health and general well-being.
  • The added weight you’ve put on by sitting in front of the computer all day and night makes it difficult for you to move around.
  • The carpal tunnel problems in your mouse (writing) wrist from all the clicking means you wouldn’t be able to do a desk job or work at a computer.
  • No-one is going to employ someone who smells so bad they would knock a buzzard off a garbage truck.

3. Do you have a partner (husband/wife/live-in lover)?

Partners can be very off-putting, especially those who are selfish enough to expect attention all the time. If your partner really loved you they would understand what is important to you and respect that.

Don’t waste good farming time trying to explain this to them by talking it through together, SHOW THEM by how many EP’s you get when you harvest full fields of your top crop using all your pets, your zucchini-apple bread, and that 200% EP Bonus you won using your nineteenth spin on the wheel this morning. (You could really impress them by highlighting the increase in crops harvested by using your Carrot and Apple Chutney and pointing out that you’ve just gained another level on your Farmer Trophy, but that’s best saved for when you want to be REALLY happy together.)

A good partner will also realise your need for peace and quiet so that you can concentrate properly on the job in hand so, hopefully, they will have at least a full-time day job to go to, and evening work is always available too, for the really caring ones.

4. Children.

While children may be really fun in a real farmyard, (cuddling the new born lambs, chasing the chickens around the yard, untying hay bales to see how much ground each one can cover, etc.) the type of farming you are doing works at a much faster pace.

Sure it’s good for them to have a laugh and giggle at the graphics when the old Owl falls asleep while reading to the Owl-lets, but too much of a good thing would spoil them, and spoiled children can be very distracting.

Some people allow their children to participate in the farm, but this is not only strictly against game rules (sharing a password is VERY NAUGHTY) but children want to have fun with their farms and use them to learn about animals. This is YOUR farm and it needs to be treated as a business, not a plaything. Schools are provided for children to learn in; that’s why we pay taxes, to employ teachers.

As much as possible children should be locked in their bedrooms so they can play quietly well out of the way and only let out when there is something new and exciting to see on the farm.

(Just to see if you’ve been paying attention, here’s a little side-test for you. The answer is at the end of this article: )

Which of these statements is true?

  • a) Locking children in their bedrooms for long periods is considered illegal in many countries.
  • b) Locking children in their bedrooms for long periods is considered cruelty under the UNICEF Convention on the Rights of the Child.
  • c) Locking children in their bedrooms for long periods is necessary for good farming.

5. Other, unnecessary interruptions.

Nobody wants to miss a harvest, but nobody wants to miss that crucial moment in the game either. Always make sure that your TV has a “live pause” facility. That way if your partner is not home you won’t have to get up from your comfortable seat in front of it to attend to your farm and, by doing so, be denied the excitement of witnessing first-hand that (depending on your country of origin)

  • Incredible last second of overtime, 82 yard, “Hail Mary” pass for the game-winning touchdown.
  • Superb, nine man, one touch passing move that led to the penalty being awarded, and the goalkeeper being sent off, one second from the end of extra time in the Cup Final.

Such things HAVE to be seen in their proper context and in the flow of the game, otherwise what’s the point in watching?

Of course for the purposes of watching TV while farming a laptop/iPad would be better than a desktop, so if you go down that route we would recommend getting the very best and fastest available because of the heavy graphics loading of the game. Your partner still has a few hours to spare each day during which they could take another job to pay for it. After all, your happiness is important to them, isn’t it?

6. Let your neighbours work for you.

Sending gifts to your farm neighbours is time consuming and wasteful; their farms are never going to be as good as yours anyway!

Use your neighbours properly by advising them of the gifts you want to receive, and ensure that those gifts are of the greatest value to you. A single toolbox or one bag of salt or sugar is worthless. It only costs them 10BB’s to send you a small sack of salt or sugar, and for that you get 50 bags. Now THAT’S a gift!

Rather than wasting more time than necessary in the Confectionery producing lots of Level 1 Pumpkin Jam to extend the life of your Carrot and Apple Chutney, just get all of your neighbours to send you a Carrot and Apple Chutney every day. This has two major benefits:

  • Those that you don’t need can be sold at the market for profit. You’ll soon have the golf course, swimming pool, and other accoutrements that make a good park worth looking at.
  • You can concentrate on racking up the Artisan Trade points at the higher levels, which is much more efficient.

Your neighbours will receive benefit in kind by being able to admire your farm at the Tourist Office, plus they get the benefit of all the extra EP’s for congratulating you when you level up so regularly. Before they know it your farm name will be appearing in all the “Top Farm” charts on the News Page, and they’ll have the added satisfaction of being able to say to themselves, “In some small way I contributed to the success of that farm”.

Summary

So there we have it. Hopefully we have helped you to see where you can make improvements in your farming strategy, and if you follow our advice we’re certain that your farm will flourish as any really good farm should.

And before we forget, the answer to our little “trick” quiz question was that they are ALL true, although answer “c” is by far the most important.

Happy farming! 😉


Want to be kept up to date at all times? Subscribe to this site to receive all posts by email. See the top of the right hand column and click on “Oh yes please“. Your email address will never be shared with others and will not be used for any other purpose, we promise.

Advertisements

About Mee

www.farmeramaaid.com, a website on the Earthly interweb devoted to providing players with news, tips, opinions and tutorials on the game Farmerama.

Posted on 6 April 2012, in Farmerama, FarmeramaAID, Games, humor, humour, Tip of the day and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Lorie Kemmling

    I absolutely loved it! The best yet! I love your site Mee!!!!! Not a one like it, your site is fun and unique!!! Your sense of humor … is grade A number 1 in my book. Thank you.
    Have been having some bad days as of late, and you made me laugh this morning (opps afternoon!)!!!
    Have a great day and keep up the great work.
    Serenity

We welcome your comments, feedback, opinions, questions, suggestions and donations. (But not necessarily in that order)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: